Wednesday, June 28, 2017
Home  >  Features  >  TMNT: OUT OF THE SHADOWS - A MightyVille Rant

TMNT: Out of the Shadows

 

Back in June of 2016, MightyVille reviewer Samuel Moyerman promised us his take on Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows. Then he had a kid and for some reason, his priorities changed. Now, almost one year later, we woke up to find the following in our inbox... [Editor's Note: proceed with caution, dear reader. What follows may be the self-obsessed ramblings of a sleep-deprived madman.]

1. DISAPPOINTING!  It takes a lot to make me not care about what happens in a TMNT movie but they did it.  All of the pieces they needed to make this awesome were there but they managed to really screw it up anyway.

2. HUH? It felt like I slept through all the wrong parts or something.  What I mean is, they had origin stories in there, but all seemed to be the wrong ones.  Did we really need a Casey Jones origin story?  Not really.  [Editor's Note: He worse his mask ONCE!] And why focus on him the cop and not him the hockey player?  And shouldn't we have gotten a Krang origin story?  It seemed like he just popped up and stole Shredder, then disappeared until the end.   I really feel like I slept through part of the movie and missed more Krang. [Editor's Note: How did April know that Baxter Stockman was working with the Foot Clan, which was the whole crux to the opening of the film??]

 

KRANG!

 

3. KRANG!!! Outside of the weaponry, was there any reason to think Krang could hold his own against the Turtles?  I feel like real giant monster mutant ninjas could have kicked his ass pretty easily.

4. YOU HAVE FAILED THIS MOVIE! It's a shame, because he did decent work and it was part of a dream year for him (Arrow, "Summerslam", ...this), but it's really hard to see Stephen Amell as anything other than Oliver Queen right now.  Especially if he's just playing another street level hero.  

5. SHINY! Show offy CGI scenes can be really nice eye candy.  But that's all they are and they focused way too much screen time on CGI.  Without any real story to back it up, I'm reminded of a line in a Fantastic Four (Tim Story version) review when talking about Jessica Alba: "There's only so long you can look at a sunset."

6. TOO MANY COOKS! Did you notice how many production companies were involved with this movie?  It's insane how many front pieces there were.  It went on for almost a minute.   Have to think that was a too many cooks in the kitchen scenario. [Editor's Note: It would explain the assistant, foreign investigator who looked familiar yet had no lines.]

7. BEEPS! Strangely, here's my biggest takeaway from the movie:  Bebop and Rocksteady are totes gay right?  I mean, even before they change.  He calls him "Beebs" for crying out loud.  They have this strange unstated affection for each other that comes through in all their screen time.  And after the change, well, I'll just say there's a scene immediately where they check out their own stuff and high five.  And if we look at it logically, if you were a giant anthropomorphized Warthog, what would be your most likely target for sex, a female human who is 1/4 of your size and would in now way be able to handle you (or be attracted to you) or a giant anthropomorphized Rhinoceros?  I've put too much thought into this but it bugged me right away. [Editor's Note: "May Man!"]

 

Bebop and Rocksteady

 

I have to stop now before I start writing some slashfic for them...

 

Well, there you have it, folks. What did you guys think of this movie?

 

More Reviews on MightyVille:

#1 Bullets New Comic Book Day Reviews: March 29, 2017

#1 Bullets New Comic Book Day Reviews: March 15, 2017

IRON FIST: THE LIVING WEAPON - A MightyVille Review

 

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